After my near death choking experience, which Jamal (an interesting name) did nothing about but ask
"Dude, are you choking?", to which I answered "Choking is no laughing matter," we took off in search for civilization. I figured if we can get to the highest point of land we may be able to spot something. The trip there was not pleasant, not pleasant at all. My new sweater vest (a gift from mumsy) was soiled by dirt and sweat and I was blessed with another near-death experience when a bee landed on my flat cap (I have a deadly allergy). Not to mention my separation from William and Jude, my putter and driver, was weighing deeply on my heart. Jamal made me choose only one of my golf clubs to carry on because I was'nt in the state to carry all of them myself, yet Jamal refused to assist me. Isn’t that what he’s there for? But nothing could have been worse than when we reached the peak of the oddly colored mountain, where one of my worst nightmares came true. There were bugs. Everywhere. Like a doctor on my favorite Soap, I whipped out my inhaler and meditated. Then I had an epiphany. I had my emergency mosquito net poncho in my satchel!
“Ahh.” I said after putting it over my head and claiming victory over the insects. But with Jamal here I think we all knew that the peace would not last long, and apparently he had fallen in a hole. He could use a couple IQ points. He screamed for my help which I did, but not before sanitizing with my hand crème.
“Oh dearie, how did you manage to end up in a hole?” I remember asking the young feller. Then I realized he was covered in fire ants, so I had to extract my travel size bug spray and assist Jamal at ridding the ants. Suddenly, some sort of exotic creature popped out of the ground. He, too, was covered in ants, so I said
“Oh me, let me help you there, chum”
Well, apparently he was enjoying the infestation of fire ants on his body, because the moment the repellent left the jug, it leaped at and took a snap at my hand--my golf hand!
"Dude, are you choking?", to which I answered "Choking is no laughing matter," we took off in search for civilization. I figured if we can get to the highest point of land we may be able to spot something. The trip there was not pleasant, not pleasant at all. My new sweater vest (a gift from mumsy) was soiled by dirt and sweat and I was blessed with another near-death experience when a bee landed on my flat cap (I have a deadly allergy). Not to mention my separation from William and Jude, my putter and driver, was weighing deeply on my heart. Jamal made me choose only one of my golf clubs to carry on because I was'nt in the state to carry all of them myself, yet Jamal refused to assist me. Isn’t that what he’s there for? But nothing could have been worse than when we reached the peak of the oddly colored mountain, where one of my worst nightmares came true. There were bugs. Everywhere. Like a doctor on my favorite Soap, I whipped out my inhaler and meditated. Then I had an epiphany. I had my emergency mosquito net poncho in my satchel!
“Ahh.” I said after putting it over my head and claiming victory over the insects. But with Jamal here I think we all knew that the peace would not last long, and apparently he had fallen in a hole. He could use a couple IQ points. He screamed for my help which I did, but not before sanitizing with my hand crème.
“Oh dearie, how did you manage to end up in a hole?” I remember asking the young feller. Then I realized he was covered in fire ants, so I had to extract my travel size bug spray and assist Jamal at ridding the ants. Suddenly, some sort of exotic creature popped out of the ground. He, too, was covered in ants, so I said
“Oh me, let me help you there, chum”
Well, apparently he was enjoying the infestation of fire ants on his body, because the moment the repellent left the jug, it leaped at and took a snap at my hand--my golf hand!
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